Why You Lost Your Creative Identity (And How to Get It Back Without Burning Out)

The Quiet Erosion of Who You Used to Be

Losing your creative identity rarely happens in one dramatic – cinematic experience.

Unfortunately, it is like any other.

It happens slowly.

Creeping into the folds of your mind until it has completely encapsulated your brain.

You never notice it at first.

You’re just tired.

You’re just busy.

You’re just trying to get through the day.

You’re just too overwhelmed to open the laptop or press the pencil to the page.

And then one morning you wake up and realize you . . .

How long has it been since I last wrote?

How long has it been since I cared for it?

You used to feel connected to your ideas – now it’s distant.

You used to feel pulled toward the page – now you avoid it.

You used to feel like a person who created thing – now you don’t feel excited to do that at all.

Now you feel like someone who used to.

That realization is painful, but it’s also the beginning of your return.

How Creative Identity Gets Lost

Creative identity doesn’t disappear overnight or because you’re weak and undisciplined.

It disappears because life asks more of you than your creative self can even bear to carry.

There are a few common patterns (if you’re interested in learning) to look out for:

·        You’ve been in survival mode.

o   When your nervous system is overwhelmed, creativity becomes inaccessible—not because you don’t care, but because your brain quite literally cannot prioritize on anything other than your safety and survival. Which of course means writing falls behind.

·        You’ve been performing instead of creating

o   When your work becomes about approval, algorithms, or expectations, your authentic self takes a step back and your voice retreats because it feels like it doesn’t fit “the trend.”

·        You’ve been overconsuming

o   Too much input—social media, opinions of others, noise—drowns out your internal signal. This is where people usually shut down and just give up. They also find themselves in the writer’s block more often and that’s a good thing because it’s a signal that’s telling you something is off and we are straying too far from who we are or meant to be.

·        You’ve been carrying emotional weight

o   Grief, burnout, postpartum shifts, motherhood, identity transitions. . . they all pull creative energy inward and when so much is weighing you down you can’t even find a moment to breathe let along write.

·        You’ve been disconnected from your inner world

o   Creativity requires intimacy with yourself and when you’re stretched so far thin, that intimacy can be harder to reach and even fades.

But please, let me remind you, none of these are failures.

They are conditions.

And conditions can always—always change.

That Psychology of Losing Your Creative Self

Creative identity is built on three things:

·        Agency – the belief that you can create.

·        Belonging – the sense that you are a creative person.

·        Continuity – the ongoing relationship with your inner world

When any of these weaken, so goes your identity.

And a writer who can’t write – create is left feeling hopeless.

This then gives way to added stressors and pushes the already vulnerable writer further down into the trenches to which they believe is no escape.

But you don’t lose creativity.

You lose access to it.

And access like a bridge can be rebuilt no matter how many times its burned down.

How to Get Your Creative Identity Back

Getting your creative identity back isn’t about forcing output. Words. Pages. Chapters.

It’s about building that bridge – rebuilding that relationship.

And here’s what has worked for me over the past 12 years but only realized in the past three once I’ve decided to take my writing more seriously.

1.        Start with noticing, not producing!

a.       We always want to start by paying attention to what drives us.

b.      What moves us?

c.       What irritates you?

d.       What sparks something in your chest that makes your heart flutter or sink

Noticing was the first step—is the first step. This helps you pick up on patterns to best help you find your cues to inspire and the triggers that dissipate.

2.       Create something small at first but also raw—honest!

a.       Not impressive. Not shareable. Not strategic. Just something completely unfiltered.

b.      A paragraph

c.       A sentence

d.       A fragment

When it comes to rebuilding your creative identity or even finding it, it comes through small consistent actions of truth. Sometimes you don’t even notice that overtime you have been consuming someone else’s idea of creativity that you’ve drowned out your own. So, do the work, remove the excess and added ideas until you reach your own.

3.       Reduce the Noise

a.       You can’t find your voice if it’s competing with everyone else’s.

b.      Influencers telling you, “Try this. . . do that if. . . This is the only way to. . .”

c.       Constantly consuming keeps you from consistently producing.

d.       And this is why it is sometimes difficult to write because everyone on the internet with more followers than you have an opinion, but that’s all it is.

An opinion.

4.       Reconnect with the world inside your mind.

a.       The best way to reconnect and find your creative identity again is to revisit where it all started.

b.      Journaling, walking, reading more books, sitting in silence, listening to music—anything that brings you back that flicker of excitement and pulls together the fragmented images in your blurred mind is something worth trying.

5.       Claim Your creativity before you feel ready for it.

a.       Creativity doesn’t return after you create something.

b.      It returns when you decide to produce without perfection.

c.       It returns when you choose to produce without pressure.

d.       Produce raw and unfiltered.

You must say it loudly and unapologetically—or write it as such:

I am a creative person. I am a writer. I am above what the other person expects me to produce.

You Didn’t Lose Your Creativity

If you can allow me to be honest, I must say this. . .

You didn’t lose your creativity.

You lost your connection to it.

But the best part is connection can always be restored.

And the version of you on the other side of this will be wiser, steadier, more confident and honest than the one you were before.

That’s always the upside.

With that being said. . .

Here is a hello to a Beginning and a thank you to an End.

Much love, progress and consistency.

--Angela